July 2, 2012

Don't be jealous: part two

As promised, the following is the continuation of my post from last night.  I hope you enjoyed laughing at my mouse nightmare (The Orkin Man came today and I am now fully protected against any non-human creature).  Enjoy my other two favorite moments from this past week.
Hoosier Daddy?
Those who know me know that I kind of like Kentucky basketball.  I follow the team like they are family and felt like a proud mom on draft night when six Wildcats were drafted, making it the first time in history that six players were drafted from the same team.  I live in Kentucky and am surrounded by fellow Kentucky fans, so rarely do I have to defend my passion for the team.  However, I have found that once I leave the state there are a lot of haters.  People really don’t like Kentucky and their number one argument is “Calipari is a cheater.”  Blah, blah, blah.  I take it personally when people criticize my team... just as I would if someone criticized my family.  I will argue with you until my face is blue (no pun intended) and have gotten into heated conversations in cities around the country, most memorable was at a roulette table in Vegas.  
This past Thursday, I attended the Indiana Pacers NBA draft party in Indianapolis with my cousin.  He and I had a great night despite me rocking a blue and white dress in Hoosier Country.  We ran into a good friend of my cousin at a downtown bar and of course the topic of the night was the NBA draft.  The conversation quickly escalated to Indiana versus Kentucky... who was better.  I wasn’t backing down.  I like having good arguments with fans who know their facts and can support their arguments.  I thought I was having a good natured dispute, but this was a fleeting thought.  This guy was an Indiana fan and he quickly showed why Kentucky fans are better and brighter.  The conversation ended something like this:
IU fan:  Let’s be real here, all that matters in the grand scheme of things is who has more national championships.  IU has five.  What does Kentucky have?  Like two or three?
Me:  Are you being serious?  
IU fan:  Kentucky doesn’t have more championships than IU.
Me:  Do you even watch basketball?  Did you watch any basketball this past season?  We have eight.  EIGHT.  Eight is greater than five.
IU fan:  Yeah, but most of those happened before they really counted.
Me:  I’m sorry... when did they start “counting?”  Do you just pick a random year?  Ok, let’s say they started counting in 1990.  Since then, UK has three.  You have zero.  Three is greater than zero.
IU fan: (he’s got nothing... so I keep on going)
Me:  If our early championships “don’t count,” then let’s remove the UK championships in 48, 49, 51, and 58.  But that means your championships in 40 and 53 don’t count either.  That leaves UK with four and IU with three.  Four is still greater than three.  Would you like me to continue?
Needless to say, I won.  But it really wasn’t about winning for me (seriously), it was about exposing an IU fan... and I had no greater pleasure.
Hablo espanol?
A young girl from po-dunk Kentucky, who was a typical hillbilly Sudafed shopper, was signing for her meth precursor at the counter.
Me:  Click the “agree” button.
Her:  Do you want me to click the “Spanish” button? (she was being dead serious)
Me:  Do you speak Spanish?
Her:  No.
Then why the hell would you click the “Spanish” button?  “Spanish” is not a code word for “agree” at the pharmacy.  I laughed for at least ten minutes after she left the store.  Just representin’ the future of America.

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