January 2, 2013

Finders Keepers

Happy New Year!  I hope everyone had a memorable 2012, and is looking forward to a fabulous 2013.  The new year is often welcomed in with new resolutions.  I’m not sure how I feel about New Year resolutions since I usually give up after January 5th, but this year I have three resolutions that I hope to keep until at least February... March if I’m lucky:

**Get this 33 year old body back in super-model shape.  Not that it was ever close to super-model shape, but I have been holding on to several pairs of old pants with the glimmering hope that one day I will be able to wear them again.  2013 will be dedicated to getting these pants over my knees.  I will then focus on getting them over my thighs in 2014, and then over my butt in 2015.  Baby steps.

**Being on time for things... anything.  As in work, appointments, work, work, and work.  And at this point, I will even consider being only five minutes late as being on time.

**Share my pharmacy stories on a regular basis.  I have been slacking.  So to kick off the year right... here is my favorite story from 2012:

A store manager was helping a patient on the floor look for a particular drug that they could not find, so she brought him to the pharmacy to ask me if I could recommend something similar.  The man showed me an empty bottle that looked like it was from 1980, and the name of the drug was some big huge long herbal name (something I couldn’t even pronounce, let alone knew what it was used for).  This is how our conversation continued:

Me:  What do you use this for?
Him:  I’ve been using it to help lose some weight.  It’s says it’s a sugar buster.  Do you have anything like this that you sell here?  (Oh, I see it now.  It says “sugar buster” in small print... on the back... under “made in Iraq.”)  
Me:  We sell a wide range of herbal diet pills.
Him:  I want one with this same ingredient that’s a sugar buster.
Me:  I’ve never heard of this drug before.  Do you remember where you bought this?
Him:  I don’t know.  I just moved into a new home and I found these pills in the bathroom when I moved in, so I decided to take them to see if they’d work.  I think I’ve lost some weight since taking them, so I wanted to buy some more.
Me:  (with my jaw touching the floor, I don’t even remember the rest of the conversation)

HOLD UP.... WAAAIT!!! (in my best Nate Dogg voice)
Did I just understand this man to tell me that he found a bottle of pills in a house and just took them?  Doesn’t everyone watch the television series Homeland?  (Well, they should because it’s arguably the best television drama ever.)  Carrie works for the CIA and keeps her anti-psychotic meds in an ibuprofen bottle in order to keep it on the down-low.  But there are so many other possibilities.  What if the previous home owner was trying to kill someone and was hiding rat poison in this bottle?  Or what if the previous home owner was like me and just keeps a hodgepodge of pills in one bottle.  Or what if this drug was expired (which I’m sure it was since this bottle was an antique), and there was some weird chemical reaction that could cause harm?  Or what if those pills were a weapon of mass destruction?  The possibilities are endless.  

So the lesson for all us, if you find a bottle of pills in your new home, try them out... see what they do for you.  Kidding.  Please just throw them away (preferably wearing rubber gloves).  Especially if you’ve never even heard of the drug name or you can’t pronounce the drug name or you don’t know what they are used for.  For your safety.  And for the sanity of your pharmacist.