November 3, 2014

4th Annual Beer Olympics: Goat Island

Last year, the 3rd Annual Birthday Backyard Beer Olympics were excellent.  I know because it ended like this:

Every year the expectations keep increasing and Mrs. Owen has yet to disappoint.  Beer Olympics has gradually increased in size each year and this year we finally outgrew the birthday girl's backyard.  So the 4th Annual Birthday Backyard Beer Olympics were moved to Goat Island.

Goat Island is a small 4-mile island that is only 200 yards off the Isle of Palms in Charleston, South Carolina.  This island is 1) inhabited by goats and 2) only accessible by boat.  In other words, it is awesome.

goats relaxing and observing the Beer Olympics action

Olympians boarding the ferry headed to Goat Island

Last year, the Olympians came adorned in costumes.  This year, the unique and original t-shirts were the highlight of the Olympics.  Everyone was just so gosh-darn funny.
Celebrating your first wedding anniversary at Beer Olympics:  winning
P.S.  not surprised
It takes both to be a Beer Olympian
South Carolina + Goat + Beer = 4th Annual Beer Olympics
So get off your seat and jump around 
...or soup ...or unlimited breadsticks 
No sunrise is complete without tequila
I boarded that train five years ago and am now in first class
Evan Jason Segal was in attendance... without Sarah Marshall
No Olympics are complete without Team America
T-shirt runner up:  John Smith and his Saturday and Sunday wives

T-shirt winner:  Jay-Z and Beyonce
Me: last year's 3rd Annual Beer Olympics blog had over 6000 views

When I got off the ferry, I felt like I had just walked onto the TV set for the show Survivor held somewhere in the Pacific Ocean.  It honestly had a magical feeling.  I kept waiting for Survivor's host, Jeff Probst, to pop out from behind a tree.

Everyone showed up on Goat Island with their game faces on.  However, the weather was not cooperating and Beer Olympics were under an hour delay due to lightening and monsoon rains.  The 50 or so Olympians were snuggled into two groups under two different tents to avoid becoming completely drenched.  One tent had all the food.  The other tent had all the beer.  When you have all the beer and an one hour delay... there's only one thing that makes sense:  a power hour.  Once the power hour started, it was decided early that the Beer Olympic champions would not come from the Power Hour tent... we were even thinking some of those under the Power Hour tent might not even make kick-off.

The Power Hour stopwatch
The Power Hour tent aka the fun tent (with the one minute siren = DRINK)

The Food Tent aka the boring tent

Once the rain and lightening took a lunch break, the first plan of action was drawing partners for the day.  Partners were drawn at random and many took this as a serious act of business.  Those who cared about winning prayed they would be paired with Lonnie (the 77 inch tall baseball player who had more athleticism than 80% of the drunk girls there combined).  And those who didn't care about winning prayed they they would be paired with someone who also didn't care so they could just drink and not stress about how to throw a frisbee.

I was paired with Dexter who was a friend of a friend.  And who was from the Bahamas.  And who didn't understand the concept of any of our American drinking games.  BUT, Mr. Dexter was a basketball player who once roomed with Tyler Hansbrough at a basketball camp and it was a match made in sweet Beer Olympic heaven. 

There were thirteen events this year... and here's a rundown on how to be a Beer Olympian:

The same game we've been playing since field day in kindergarten.

stretching was a very important stratedgy
as was wearing deodorant 
and using Summer's Eve

The Milton Bradley plastic board game came to life for Beer Olympics... of course with shots of beer.

This game will not be renewed for the 2015 games due to time constraints.  Apparently, no one remembered how to play checkers because we are no longer six years old.  Olympians set up the game with checkers on different grids and the judges never noticed the error.  This game was just too hard and too long for 30 year old beer drinkers. 

My second to least favorite game.  Why?  Because I hate frisbees.  If you actually want to know about this game, then please see last year's blog for more details.  I don't want to relive the horror.

This game will also not be renewed for the 2015 games.  As soon as the Olympians set foot on the Jenga stage, the drinking stopped and the seriousness started.  That is not appropriate behavior for Beer Olympics.  A Jenga game that lasts for more than thirty minutes is a huge buzz kill.

Wear a helmet, chug your beer, place your head on a bat, spin around 5 times, and attempt to run twenty yards down and back.  By far, the funniest (and most dangerous) game of the day.

Wrong way, Marcus!

If I have to explain this game to you, then you don't qualify to be an Olympian.

This was by far my favorite game.  If this video doesn't make you want to attach a tennis ball to your hat and walk around all day knocking over things, then we can't be friends.  And the self-entertainment factor is huge.

My least favorite game.  Go read last year's blog for more details on how to throw a damn frisbee.

First team to suck all the beer out of their ice tray wins.
a little trash talking before the final round

What Beer Pong winners look like :)

A tailgating favorite.  To learn more about this game, go read last year's blog.  I think you get it by now... READ LAST YEAR'S BLOG.

Due to the unpredicted longevity of several games, weather delays, and the time constraints of our rented backyard, we didn't get to finish the entire round robin of events.  Despite not having time for an elimination round, we still had winners... because someone had to take home these adorable trophies.  So the winners this year were determined by their win-loss record in the games played. 

All the winners were booed.  But that's expected because:

4th Annual Birthday Beer Olympics

Keep practicing y'all.  See ya next year!

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